need

i've been away for a while now, well... long time actually
almost a year or so, i missed it here
been a really crappy year for me... but now here i am..
LOST more than i ever was

Need....

"the greatest thing u'll ever knew, is to love and be loved in return..."

that's sure, but what is that special need for that person..
what make him/ her so different or special??
god knows I have my friends, i know they love me so,and god knows how much i love them "let's hope that they just don't know how much i do" :P

i'm fine and the day comes and goes normally, i'm having my good and bad days, at work my career steps are going on or off, all depends.
then that someone shows in the picture..and suddenly everything just revolves around him/ her

i don't know anything about that someone, except the amazing smile and lovely conversations we had..
what makes me in need to be around that someone so much? i had this before, and everytime the same mistake. i go standing in front of the mirror and *slap* "don' do this to ur self", *another slap*" u've been there before and u've learned, it's time to be control it"

i became stronger and more in control.. but i just can't help being in need, for this thing, for that special acceptence, special approval from that person

i could live alone right now, just promise me that i'll be all alone
that no one special will pass my way and just ignore me being there, waiting...
what is it that makes all human so weak about this,what makes that person so ignorant to what happening in front of the eyes of his,
what makes it so hard for me to understand that "it just not that into me"

FUCK THE NEED.......